The Spoonbill Generator

Semolina and its Would-Be Dictionary

When my friend, Jarvis, called me 'queer'       [F ]

I thought him mighty strange to jeer       [Kansas Sam ]

Considering he often wore       [F ]

A diving suit. And what is more       [Tall Whoopie ]

His house wis in a willow tree       [Chevalier ]

Where his salacious repartee       [SN ]

Impelled the birds to peck his face       [F ]

And many another tender place       [Ma in Z ]

Which, I think, makes him quite unfit       [Chevalier ]

To make out I'm the real misfit       [Apsley ]

When my "friend" chained me to a post       [Chevalier ]

I thought him an attentive host       [Cocoa Channel ]

Considering he seldom swore       [Apsley ]

An oath of office; furthermore       [asdf ]

He dwelt beneath some spreading leaves       [Apsley ]

Unlike more even-handed thieves       [loaf ]

Who rob the poor and rich alike       [Chevalier ]

And throw to both a handy spike       [Apsley ]

Wherewith to rid themselves of lice       [Chevalier ]

And to impale the fatted mice       [F ]

"When, my friend," I did enquire       [Chevalier ]

"Did you obtain that flaming tire?"       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

Considering you often rode       [F ]

In streams of fire past my abode       [loaf ]

Whereas you lived atop a crag       [Apsley ]

A precipice of sodden slag       [loaf ]

From which good men were thrown in tens       [Apsley ]

To sate the Sirens of the Fens       [loaf ]

And oft into the mire sank       [Grayman ]

Where frogs their vital fluids drank.       [loaf ]

When all my friends have turned their backs       [Chevalier ]

We'll have no need of heart-attacks.       [olaf ]

Contributors: F, Kansas Sam, Tall Whoopie, Chevalier, SN, Ma in Z, Apsley, Cocoa Channel, asdf, loaf, Kevin Andrew Murphy, Grayman, olaf.
Poem finished: 5th January 2007 by Chevalier.