The Spoonbill Generator

Torment Jemima For Bothering

My neighbours, then, the nomads       [loaf ]

Did think me mighty strange       [Nym ]

When, on the twenty-first of June       [loaf ]

I started baying at the moon       [F ]

When it was not in range       [loaf ]

They listened, then, in wonder       [Chevalier ]

When next I scolded fleas       [Helen Owly ]

For having poured my tea too hot       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

Upon a rabid ocelot       [loaf ]

That drank the deepest lees       [Apsley ]

I then proceeded to berate       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

The Proctor and his dog       [Apsley ]

For placing glass upon the wall       [Chevalier ]

And carpeting my toilet stall       [F ]

With thickest hide of hog       [Apsley ]

But none of this compares to when       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

My neighbors lost their 'u'       [Kansas Sam ]

Before the thirty-first of May       [loaf ]

They wrote their pet a roundelay       [Kansas Sam ]

Which I stuffed up their flue       [F ]

Their cat yowled in their chimney pipe       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

I stuffed my ears with wool       [F ]

Thence Higgins' bawling guttersnipe       [Arnold the Sly Ape ]

Whose sire was wont to utter tripe       [F ]

Gave kith and cat a pull       [Kansas Sam ]

The cat emerged begrimed with soot       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

The gypsies cried, "Bad luck!"       [F ]

Poor puss, once white, was black as ink       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

And, skunk-like, raised a royal stink       [Helen Owly ]

The gypsies cried, "Oh fuck!"       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

Contributors: loaf, Nym, F, Chevalier, Helen Owly, Kevin Andrew Murphy, Apsley, Kansas Sam, Arnold the Sly Ape.
Poem finished: 24th June 2006 by F.