The Spoonbill Generator

Channel The Avuncular

My Uncle says, "The weasel never sings."       [Will_H ]

We humor him and say, "You're right again!"       [F ]

We love him for the whisky that he brings       [Beefy ]

He stumbles home, he sleeps a bit and then       [Will_H ]

Wakening, plaits tinsel through his hair       [F ]

We humor him and say, "You look a treat!"       [Beefy ]

Sometimes he tries to channel Fred Astaire       [Will_H ]

But, sadly, he was born with two left feet       [Beefy ]

Sometimes he'll wear a plunger for a hat       [F ]

He says that's why he never will go bald       [Will_H ]

Last week he tried to make love to the cat       [F ]

The cat, though, turned to me and caterwauled       [Kansas Sam ]

My Uncle claims, "The voices come from God."       [F ]

We humour him and ask "In Japanese?"       [N ]

He answers, "Spare the child, spoil the rod."       [F ]

But, sadly, Zen was not my expertise       [Kansas Sam ]

When feeling spry he'll sometimes pinch the nurse       [F ]

He does it for the punishment he gets:       [N ]

Avoidance, though he hopes for something worse       [F ]

Involving chains and whips and castanets       [Beefy ]

My Uncle sighs, "The world is going mad."       [Will_H ]

We humor him and say, "How right you are!"       [F ]

And oftentimes (and this is really bad)       [N ]

He'll look at me and chuckle, 'har-dee-har!'       [F ]

Contributors: Will_H, F, Beefy, Kansas Sam, N.
Poem finished: 30th August 2004 by Kansas Sam.