The Spoonbill Generator

Horticultural Adages Designed By Sadistic Schoolmarms

Artichokes stop chasing, when the sunset glows,       [Apsley ]

Beetroots keep exploring where the seaweed grows       [Beefy ]

Curly Cale is lost without a grain of salt       [Roland ]

Dandelions suffer though it's not their fault       [Beefy ]

Egg-plant is the antidote to time-worn tears       [Roland ]

Fennel, where not planted, invariably appears       [Grayman ]

Ginseng, so they say, is efficacious when       [F ]

Hellebore has harmed the health of horse or hen       [Roland ]

Ibstokon - though not a plant - gets mentioned just the same       [Apsley ]

Juniper for ruining poor mothers gets the blame       [Beefy ]

Kale, which has no season, flourishes all year       [Apsley ]

Lemons, so I hear, can add a tang to beer       [F ]

Melons, on the other hand, are nothing if not bland       [Beefy ]

Nasturtiums soon are spreading, on the orange sand       [Apsley ]

Okra never troubles with the layman's plate       [Beefy ]

Pepper, on the other hand, is loaded by the crate       [Grayman ]

Quinces give their fullest to the bottom row       [Beefy ]

Radicchio in salad, tied off with a bow       [F ]

Salad leaves of every kind, crying out for dressing       [Beefy ]

Tomatillos often get the parson's special blessing       [F ]

Übergines' ambition, to rule the garden plot       [Beefy ]

Vidalia onions eaten raw when the weather's hot       [F ]

Watercress can thrill you, taken unawares       [Beefy ]

X-tra hot Scotch Bonnets say "bite me if you dare"       [Karin ]

Yams and clams in hampers call us to the feast       [Beefy ]

Zucchini, though, is all we need to feed the hungry beast       [F ]

Envoi:       [Apsley ]

A fine consommé, wrought with skill       [V+R ]

Will satisfy as naught else will       [Beefy ]

Contributors: Apsley, Beefy, Roland, Grayman, F, Karin, V+R.
Poem finished: 22nd July 2004 by V+R.