The Spoonbill Generator

Maidens Irritated When Their Purity Runs Out

A thesaurus was stoned to death, a diction'ry was raped,       [Apsley ]

I would have stopped the vandals, but my hands and feet were taped       [Beefy ]

Adhesive ribbons bound each limb, yet still my supple toes       [Arnold the Sly Ape ]

Could fathom out the argument and still improve the prose       [Apsley ]

"What need have you of ref'rence tomes?", asked Little Piggy Least       [Arnold the Sly Ape ]

(That Satanistic champion and brother of the Beast)       [Apsley ]

I sense Roget's Thesaurus leaves us crying out for more       [F ]

So little Piggy took the bus to the all night liquor store       [choke ]

"How many does 'quixotic' score?" my maiden aunt enquired       [Beefy ]

"Sorry, Dear," I told her, "You've no U, so you're still mired"       [Kansas Sam ]

A quick review of Webster's oeuvre proved I was quite correct       [Beefy ]

Yet still dear Auntie Clara wouldn't fess to her defect       [Kansas Sam ]

How useful is the D of Qs? - Let me count the ways!       [Beefy ]

If you give me deuces, I'll counteract with treys       [F ]

But out of all the groaning shelves stuffed full of works of reference       [Beefy ]

"My first bathtime ABC" remains my stalwart preference       [Ethetran ]

Contributors: Apsley, Beefy, Arnold the Sly Ape, F, choke, Kansas Sam, Ethetran.
Poem finished: 30th June 2004 by Beefy.