The Spoonbill Generator

Attraction Determined By Inquest

He took her down a leafy lane [(trad)]

For reasons he could not explain [Beefy]

Although forensic traces show [loaf]

He meant that she should never know [Apsley]

That, being several times her age [loaf]

As reckoned at some later stage, [Apsley]

He should have kept the upper hand [loaf]

In this so cold and distant land [Apsley]

And not foregone the cruel delight [loaf]

Of hiding canes she subbed for sight [asdf]

To slake his nether appetite [Roland]

We took him to a holding cell [Beefy]

For reasons we decline to tell [loaf]

Yet when our reasoned methods failed [asdf]

(The scumbag never even quailed) [Beefy]

We fell to teasing him, and said [loaf]

"Tell all the truth, or end up dead" [Beefy]

At this, he took his wallet out [loaf]

And showed his boys: one Cub, one Scout [asdf]

And one misshapen, eldritch thing [loaf]

With what he called his "magic ring" [Beefy]

Together, on a garden swing [loaf]

THey hauled him up before the judge [Beefy]

(To vouchsafe why, we can't begrudge) [loaf]

Who, gazing stenly, sent him down [Beefy]

To show the children of the town [Roland]

What ills befall the wretched poor [Beefy]

The man of steel, the wench of straw [loaf]

When all are judged on looks alone [Beefy]

Not strength of mind nor weight of bone [loaf]

They know that Justice is not blind [Beefy]

Until the jury's cheque is signed [loaf]

The moral is -- oh, never mind! [Beefy]

Contributors: (trad), Beefy, loaf, Apsley, asdf, Roland.
Poem finished: 28th May 2004 by Anon..