The Spoonbill Generator

Nursery Rhymes for Lawyers, Juries and Judges

Arnold Berry, quite contrary, [Kansas Sam]

How do you make your dough? [F]

By selling short or feigning tort, [Kansas Sam]

Or putting things in escrow? [F]

Little Bob Fweep gets no sleep [Karin]

And tosses and turns through the night [F]

The stench makes him moan [Karin]

Destroys the ozone [F]

On this Earth he is a blight [Karin]

There was an old lady who lived in a zoo [F]

She had so many suitors, she didn't know what to do [Kansas Sam]

Gorillas pursued her and so did a chimp [willh]

And they finally caught her because of her limp [F]

Jack and Jill, they took that pill [Karin]

And got quite psychedelic [F]

Jack looked round for the buzzing sound [Karin]

And thought he saw Tom Sellick [F]

Little Boy Blue, have you got the horn? [Beefy ]

We'll have to chastise you for looking at porn [F]

Perhaps you were asked to 'look after' the ewes [willh]

That title of 'shepherd' was naught but a ruse [F]

Old King Cole was as blind as a mole [Karin]

And his wife was blinder than he [F]

He tripped on a skate [Karin]

And fell into a hole [F]

It was all caught on CCTV [Beefy ]

Peter, Peter, pumpkin-eater [F]

Couldn't find a parking meter [Beefy ]

He circled 'round the block pell mell [Karin]

A-ringing of his cycle bell [Beefy ]

Little Miss Buffett wanted to 'rough it' [F]

Eating her oats and bran [Kansas Sam]

Along came a spider who plied her with cider [Beefy ]

And watched as she did a can-can [F]

Contributors: Kansas Sam, F, Karin, willh, Beefy.
Poem finished: 18th April 2004 by Karin.