The Spoonbill Generator

Martyrs To The Biscuit Guardians

The bilemonger's bill [Surlaw]

Was rendered too late [Apsley]

Rewarding his skill [Surlaw]

With a helping of skate [Apsley]

But sneering aloud [Surlaw]

Is seldom esteemed [Apsley]

The poor and the proud [Surlaw]

Should swiftly be creamed [Apsley]

And sold as a pulp [Surlaw]

To dear Meryl Streep [Apsley]

To down in one gulp [Anon.]

As a toast to her sleep [Apsley]

As a toast to her shin [Surlaw]

As a toast to her neck [Apsley]

As a toast to her skin [Surlaw]

Toasting all her many parts [Apsley]

The wreck ... [Surlaw]

I say once again [Apsley]

The bilemonger's bill [(trad)]

Found creditors none [Apsley]

Rewarding his skill [(trad)]

Or rebuking his fun [Apsley]

But snoring aloft [Surlaw]

With trotters and ale [Apsley]

The pawnbroker coughed [Surlaw]

And made his wife pale [Apsley]

To think of his crime [Surlaw]

More drak than the sea [Apsley]

More wasted than time [Surlaw]

Spent drinking tea [Apsley]

Spent drinking rum [Surlaw]

Spent drinking ghee [Apsley]

Spent drinking cum [Surlaw]

Spilling on her many parts [Apsley]

Pardee [Surlaw]

I say till I'm tired [Apsley]

The billmonger's bile [Surlaw]

Was washed up at Sheen [Apsley]

In moribund style [Surlaw]

By the king and the queen [Apsley]

When all who declined [Surlaw]

To sup at the cup [Apsley]

Were not of a mind [Surlaw]

To reckon it up [Apsley]

In minutes per mile [Surlaw]

From Moscow to Thrace [Apsley]

In penitent style [loaf]

Not playing the ace [Apsley]

Not playing the four [Surlaw]

Not playing the race [Apsley]

Not playing McGraw [Surlaw]

Dying in her many parts [Apsley]

Apace [Surlaw]

From which redundant lines we learn [Apsley]

Whether it's time to drown, or burn [Surlaw]

Contributors: Surlaw, Apsley, (trad), loaf.
Poem finished: 13th February 2004 by Apsley.