The Spoonbill Generator

Rural Consternation

My sister's just ripped a tractor in two [Lee]

Just shows what a pint of old scrumpy can do [Beefy ]

She tried it once on Shepherd Neame [Grayman]

In Taunton you could hear the scream [Lee]

And David Brown would ne'er forget his dream - come true [chaise]

My brother's knocked over a trailer of muck [Ethetran]

Nothing works right when you're down on your luck [Beefy ]

He thought it would yield a payoff [jm]

Or at least get him a day off [Beefy ]

But the real reward was way off: one buck [jm]

My Mother's smothered a bat and a bear [Lee]

She knew that they'd sqaundered the trolleybus fare [P]

The field lay in waste for the plough [chaise]

Occupied by a goose and a sow [Ethetran]

That ruffled her feathers, and how - down there. [chaise]

My father's ingested the potting shed door [Ethetran]

Retrieving the handle was no minor chore [jm]

But it was silver and had to be kept [Big Andy]

We stomach-pumped as he slept [TG]

Then he died and we all wept: no more [chaise]

Envoi [loaf]

Just look at my family, and you'll soon see [TG]

All you need to know to fathom me [Roland]

I hold grave secrets in my breast [Stacy Alexander]

And shall not yield them up at your behest [loaf]

Contributors: Lee, Beefy, Grayman, chaise, Ethetran, jm, P, Big Andy, TG, loaf, Roland, Stacy Alexander.
Poem finished: 25th January 2004 by TG.