The Spoonbill Generator

Wetnurse Burdens

I was hired to breastfeed his pups [F]

In a twist of fate most bizarre [Karin]

Of course, the man was "in his cups" [F]

The drunkest I'd seen him by far [Karin]

He drunkenly said, "har-dee-har" [F]

Then let loose a series of hiccups [Karin]

Then he asked me to vacuum his porch [F]

He said it would take but five minutes [Karin]

Ha! I had to use a blow torch [F]

To clear all the whatnots and widgets [Karin]

(I was helped by a small crew of midgets) [F]

Six toes I did blacken and scorch [Karin]

I was paid with a carton of prunes [F]

He said they'd be good for my health [Karin]

Then he forced me to translate his runes [F]

That he'd taken from Norway by stealth [Karin]

(While absconding with King Olav's wealth) [F]

With the help of some Viking buffoons [Karin]

So I told him, "Don't call me again!" [F]

But my warning he failed to heed [Karin]

I submerged him knee-deep in the fen [F]

Until his ears started to bleed [Karin]

While he babbled the Nicene Creed [F]

(My murders now add up to ten) [Karin]

Contributors: F, Karin.
Poem finished: 14th January 2004 by Anon..