The Spoonbill Generator

Prejudices Coming To Your Local Works Canteen

Said aged King Lear [Beefy ]

"My daughters I do fear!" [Karin]

They then drove him somewhat mad [Apsley]

(Tragedies, ya know, are kinda sad) [F]

The love of Benedick and Beatrice [Karin]

Was sealed with a most sloppy kiss [F]

It came as no great surprise [Grayman]

Their banter was flirting in thin disguise [Ethetran]

Cleopatra, Queen of the Nile [Beefy ]

Would hardly ever smile [Padfoot]

She felt her power slipping through her grasp [Karin]

So she bowed out with the help of a little Asp [Big Andy]

Roland and Apsley got wed [Nigel Sly]

(Though not characters in the Bard's head) [F]

It must be a play that was lost [Beefy ]

When Apsley's wife bit the frost [Apsley]

Hamlet, we hear, was a Dane [F]

Whose gal was a bit less than sane [Karin]

He spoke with the ghost of his dad [F]

Not the best evening he'd ever had [Grayman]

Lady Macbeth washed her hands [F]

Metaphorically, one understands, [fester]

But no matter how she would plot [Grayman]

Nought but death could out that damned spot [Ethetran]

Rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead so I've been told [Big Andy]

Their friendship with Hamlet they greedily sold [Karin]

But never was a mouth mealier [Beefy ]

Or a play more touchy-feelier [F]

When performing in the Scottish play [Karin]

Never speak the title or alas and lackaday! [F]

Sundry disasters are bound to befall [Grayman]

Banquo's ghost will come to call [Beefy ]

Romeo and Juliet committed suicide [F]

Life without the other each could not abide [Karin]

The knife, the potion--such ado [F]

The fate of Capulet and Montague [N]

Mercy did Portia extol [F]

Appealing to Shylock's soul [Beefy ]

While he was merchandising [F]

Antonio was downsizing [Grayman]

Marcus Antonius [Beefy ]

And his cronius [Grayman]

At Caesar's death were ravian [Beefy ]

They may have underestimated Octavian [Karin]

Titania, fairy queen [Beefy ]

Is seldom ever seen [F]

But charms, she's got 'em [Grayman]

As noted by Bottom [F]

Contributors: Beefy, Karin, Apsley, F, Grayman, Ethetran, Padfoot, Big Andy, Nigel Sly, fester, N.
Poem finished: 1st January 2004 by Karin.