The Spoonbill Generator

Etiquette Toward Farm Animals

When addressing a horse, remember the rule: [N]

First, bow three times then stamp one foot [F]

When greeting a cow, they taught us at school - [N]

First, sprinkle her head with chimney soot [F]

When convening with pigs, never forget: [N]

Swill should be served instead of wine [F]

In the presence of sheep you haven't yet met - [N]

Please don't "slaughter a third of your kine" [F]

When conversing with geese, take my advice: [N]

Don't ruffle their feathers or honk [F]

When you meet with a goat, it will only suffice [N]

To greet his mate with a mannerly bonk [F]

When speaking to chickens, tradition dictates: [N]

You flatter their beaks and their eggs [F]

To parlay with a duck, the law clearly states - [N]

Not to make duck soup out of their legs [F]

When dining with mice, the strict etiquette [Beefy ]

Is never to eat all your cheese in one go [Grayman]

Before dancing with dogs, please consult with a vet [Big Andy]

Not all breeds can perform do-si-do [Beefy ]

When vacationing with Eels, the transport of choice [K8]

Must surely be a camper van [Beefy ]

To commune with sharks, read a passage from Joyce [Karin]

While on the sea in a stout sampan [F]

Contributors: N, F, Beefy, Grayman, Big Andy, K8, Karin.
Poem finished: 9th December 2003 by Karin.