The Spoonbill Generator

The Queen Of All Chagrin

One bright September morning, the sky a crystal blue [Beefy ]

I found my ends were loose; I didn't know what best to do [Ethetran]

I ventured to the market, bought myself a gown [Beefy ]

I then went to the crownery and bought myself a crown [Padfoot]

I thought that as a queen I don't want to be a joke [e]

So I bought an orb and sceptre and a chilled vanilla coke [Ethetran]

I took a cab to Kohler and I bought a porcelain throne [Dassn't Say]

It cost a lot of money, I had to get a loan [Padfoot]

Bur very soon you all will find you have to bend the knee [Beefy ]

There isn't any queen that is as queenly now as me [Irene Adler]

You'll find my brand of despotism a rather pleasant change [Beefy ]

Why are you all looking at me as though you think I'm strange? [Karin]

Now, when I find a queenly purse (empty though it be) [Kansas Sam]

I celebrate with gusto, and have kippers for my tea [fester]

For ruling o'er this ragged band is proving quite a chore [Beefy ]

'Cause first I rule, and then I rule, and then I rule some more [Kansas Sam]

Mostly, though, it's all a show, I wave a regal hand [Dassn't Say]

To ward off regal flies I draw throughout my regal land [Kansas Sam]

But being Queen is such a drag, it's really not much fun [N]

I'd rather play some cricket or consume a hot cross bun [Dassn't Say]

Often, here, upon my throne, I dwell in regal thought [Kansas Sam]

And fail to relish all the fame and fortune I have sought [N]

Instead, my thoughts contrive a knot for Queenhood's loosest ends [Kansas Sam]

And wait until another to the royal throne ascends [N]

Contributors: Beefy, Ethetran, Padfoot, e, Dassn't Say, Irene Adler, Karin, Kansas Sam, fester, N.
Poem finished: 25th September 2003.