The Spoonbill Generator

Onions Can't Cry

I've far too much hair on my head [N]

So often I've heard it been said [F]

It protrudes from my ears [Anon.]

And leaves me in tears [F]

I'd rather be bald instead [N]

There's oomph in my get-up-and-go [F]

I'm speeding through life like a pro [N]

I simply can't stop [F]

Till I get to the top [N]

At which point I'll toss to and fro [F]

My nose is remarkably long [N]

Almost as long as my schlong [sorry]

And each time I sneeze
I fall to my knees [N]

It's worse than a game of mah-jong [F]

I suffer from awful diseases [N]

Emitting pus and wheezes [F]

My elbows are green [N]

I've lost my spleen [F]

And often believe that I'm Jesus [N]

I think I might be Joan of Arc [F]

We look just alike - in the dark [N]

I, too, hear voices [F]

My army rejoices [N]

Oh-oh, what is that? A spark? [F]

They're having a party tonight [N]

An orgy--do you think it's right? [F]

I should be invited [N]

My lust is ignited [Beefy]

My manhood has schwinged to its height [Dassn't Say]

My bladder is getting quite weak [fester]

I'm in desperate need of a leak [Beefy]

If I weren't so drunk [Dassn't Say]

That cave I'd spelunk [Anon.]

And give the bats a free peek. [Karin]

I wish I were free of my mess [Kansas Sam]

Falling apart I must confess [sp]

I just want some friends [chicho]

Not one who pretends [Anon.]

To know me ... but now I digress [Roland]

Contributors: N, F, sorry, Beefy, Dassn't Say, fester, Kansas Sam, Karin, sp, chicho, Kansas Sam (from Innes), Roland.
Poem finished: 28th August 2003.