The Spoonbill Generator

Time and the Walrus

The moon was shining on the grass
Shining in shades of grey [Anon.]

It did its very best to fade [Francine]

The colour of the hay [N]

And this was weird because, you know [Francine]

The hay had gone to play. [Kansas Sam]

The sun was beaming angrily [N]

Because she thought the moon [Kansas Sam]

Got too much mention in the press [Francine]

About her light at noon-- [Kansas Sam]

"It's very crude of him," she barked [F]

"But I'll soon change his tune!" [Karin]

The mud was brown, as brown could be [F]

The water, wet as wet. [Kansas Sam]

You could not see a blimp because [Francine]

No blimp had shown up yet: [Kansas Sam]

No fish were swimming undersea [Francine]

There were no fish, my pet. [Karin]

The Walrus and the Sharpshooter [F]

Were strolling hop by hop [N]

They belched like anything to spy [Francine]

Such magnitudes of slop [N]

"If this were only vacuumed up," [F]

They cried "Our hearts would stop" [Anon.]

"If thirty hags with paper bags [F]

Did suck for half a week [N]

Do you presume," the Walrus brayed [Francine]

"That they could make me peak?" [N]

"Can't tell ya," said the Sharpshooter [F]

And went to take a leak [N]

"Old crones, come and talk with us!" [Karin]

The walrus did beseech [Randy]

Our wardrobes they are full enough [baoloa]

With pantaloons for each [Randy]

They have spangles that you'd die for [baoloa]

And are comfy in the breech [Randy]

An ugly crone then peered at him
But never a noise he made [N]

For indeed he had a secret plan [baoloa]

He thought 'twould get him laid [Beefy]

She leaned in to say "Ha! You lose!" [Karin]

"I 'll live and die a maid" [Beefy]

But then her cronies hurried up, [Anon.]

All speckled for the fete: [Francine]

Their hair was blue, their perfume loud, [Kansas Sam]

Their undergarments wet-- [Francine]

And this was odd, because, you know, [Kansas Sam (from Carroll)]

I hadn't seen them yet. [Francine]

More lonely cronies followed them, [Kansas Sam]

And then there came still more [Karin]

And thin and slow did they all go [N]

So aching, stiff, and sore-- [Kansas Sam]

All limping through the bubbling mud [N]

This cane-and-walker corps. [Kansas Sam]

The Walrus and the Sharpshooter
Strolled on an hour or two [N]

And then they dangled from a rail [Francine]

Unfortunately blue [N]

And all the little cronies burped [Francine]

And farted loudly too [N]

"The rhyme has come," the Walrus said [Francine]

"To haunt your every dream" [N]

Of nips--and tucks--and ceiling tacks-- [Francine]

Of lifts and peels--and cream-- [Kansas Sam]

And why the pork lacks sauerkraut-- [Francine]

And if cold fish can scream." [Kansas Sam]

"But wait a bit," the crones implored [F]

We may be past our prime [baoloa]

And some of us are Polish [Francine]

And none of us can slime!" [Anon.]

"Don't worry!" said the Sharpshooter [Karin]

Each paid to him a dime [Francine]

"A pic of Dole," the Walrus said, [Kansas Sam]

"Would suit you nicely now: [Nym]

A pill or two of Bob's besides [Kansas Sam]

Will further then allow-- [N]

More colourful conniptions [baoloa]

Now let us show you how" [N]

"But not on rice!" the hags besought [Beefy]

Turning a little pink. [Kansas Sam]

After such weirdness, that would be [Francine]

Too normal, don't you think? [Beefy ]

"This sight is fine," the Walrus said. [Kansas Sam]

"But I could use a drink!" [E Greejius]

Contributors: N, Francine, Kansas Sam, F, Karin, Randy, baoloa, Beefy, Kansas Sam (from Carroll), Nym, E Greejius.
Poem finished: 7th August 2003.