The Spoonbill Generator

A Contest for Castle Custard

The goat came down from the hill-tops [fester]

Gritting his yellowish teeth [Stacy Alexander]

In imitation of a snake [Apsley]

It didn't fool MacHeath [Beefy]

"Fell goat!" he cried, "I see through you!" [Grayman]

Despite your snakish smile [fester]

MacHeath was on to something [Stacy Alexander]

But the goat was fullof guile [fester]

Indeed, it had mastered hypnosis [P]

With a certain savoir fare [Stacy Alexander]

And soon convinced MacHeath that [fester]

His teeth were in his hair [Apsley]

Shouting "I bite my scalp at you!" [Grayman]

HIs molars rose to fight, [Stacy Alexander]

But found themselves imprisoned [Apsley]

His curlers were too tight [Beefy]

MacHeath was in a quandry [Stacy Alexander]

(He simply could not spell) [Apsley]

He grabbed a handy Websters [Stacy Alexander]

His feet began to swell. [Barrymore's Ghost]

He should have found the OED [Apsley]

(Which has less side-effects) [fester]

And looked up then 'verbatim' [Apsley]

Or 'Oedipus complex' [dkb]

Instead he ate a lemon [Stacy Alexander]

(He couldn't chew it, though) [fester]

And, swallowing entirely [dkb]

It got stuck in his throat... [fester]

The Heimlich, not an option, Oh! [Barrymore's Ghost]

MacHeath, he choked and died [fester]

There upon the gorse-strewn heath [Apsley]

As the goat stood by and cried. [fester]

So let this be a lesson [Stacy Alexander]

To the wastrels of our town [Apsley]

A goat cannot be trusted [Beefy]

And neither can a clown. [fester]

Contributors: fester, Stacy Alexander, Apsley, Beefy, Grayman, P, Barrymore's Ghost, dkb.
Poem finished: 6th November 2002.