The Spoonbill Generator

Telephone in a Wishing Well

I woke up this morning as blue as your eyes [fester]

With the knowledge that Saturn is not the right size [P]

To fit in the wardrobe we rented in Spring [Roland]

From the man with the nosebleed who owns half of Tring [P]

(The other half bought by a wife up from Bath) [Apsley]

Who, sadly, has wandered down the Primrose Path [fester]

To find that Old Nick is quite seven feet tall [Beefy]

And bonfires in Hell really do consume all [fester]

I woke up too early as sad as a wake, [Stacy Alexander]

Puzzled by coffins, but not boffins or cheddar, [Apsley]

Cheese that confuses me tends to be redder - [dkb]

But breakfasted well on the cheddar and cake [fester]

That my mother had bought from a man with no head [P]

(It didn't surprise her that he wasn't dead) [fester]

With a sixpence she'd found down the back of a chair [P]

While cursing a cushion that wasn't quite there. [loaf]

I woke with the memory of terrible dreams [P]

That haunted St Agnes while visiting Rheims [Roland]

I saw Wills and Harry, much smaller, it seems [Stacy Alexander]

Supporting their favourite volleyball teams [dkb]

Their faces all flushed as they watched teenage girls [Anon.]

Their festering frocks and their cobwebby curls [Roland]

Their long, lissome legs and their faces aglow [fester]

With spasms of pain as they lurched to and fro [Roland]

What St Agnes made of this, I can but guess - [fester]

Erotica Royal is what I'd attest [Stacy Alexander]

From the heaving the dream produced in her chest [fester]

Underneath the soft quilt and her embroidered vest [Stacy Alexander]

More than that (you'll realise I'm saving the best [fester]

As the last most delicious savory jest [Stacy Alexander]

And not simply managing to give you less) [fester]

- It's right up the street of the Second Queen Bess! [E Greejius]

Contributors: fester, P, Roland, Apsley, Beefy, Stacy Alexander, dkb, loaf, Anon., E Greejius.
Poem finished: 22nd October 2002.