The Spoonbill Generator

At the Leg-warming Market

Statistically speaking, the cow [fester]

By means of the sweat of its brow [Roland]

Has mastered this fancy know-how: [Apsley]

On average, it knows that its moo [fester]

Keeps it far from the grounds of the zoo, [Apsley]

Where the vet is not part of the view [Roland]

By Fermat's theorem, its milk [Apsley]

Should be as pure and soft as silk [fester]

And other fabrics of that ilk [Apsley]

The ratio of milk to cream [fester]

Once came to me in a dream [Apsley]

About cows in a football team [fester]

'The number of the cow is twelve' [Apsley]

(Which cows have worked out for themselves) [fester]

So said the man I told to shelve [Apsley]

A cow pat's mean diameter [fester]

In the last parameter [Apsley]

Can't be measured by an ammeter [fester]

But, if you want to count the herd, [Apsley]

Cow density per acre serves [fester]

To some an answer most absurd [Apsley]

The current trend in beef per head [fester]

Sends most men turning to their bed [Apsley]

(They like their beef well-hung, it's said) [fester]

Contributors: fester, Roland, Apsley.
Poem finished: 27th June 2002.