The Spoonbill Generator

My Lion-hearted Friend Edgar

The tiger hunting in the dusk [fester]

Smells not of talcum, only musk; [Apsley]

And, once she's ripped her victim's flesh, [fester]

Which lesser beasts would just eat fresh, [Apsley]

She'll wish she'd had a rusk [Grayman]

Hyenas scavenging at dawn [fester]

Don't disturb a tranquil lawn [Apsley]

When lizards linger in the sun [fester]

They rarely peck a currant-bun [Apsley]

Unlike the cheeky currawongs [dkb]

In silky tights and skimpy thongs [Apsley]

Whose only goal in life is fun [Beefy]

Elephants sun-bathing at noon [fester]

To me does not mean a boon [Apsley]

The weasel sneakily attacks [fester]

The pumas' nose, and sides, and backs: [Apsley]

And greedily devours the bits [fester]

Where customary reason fits [Apsley]

The true philosophy of snacks [fester]

Which, so the legend rightly says, [Apsley]

They only know in down-town Fez [fester]

and meanwhile the slug just softly sits [melody]

In twenty squishy sluggy bits, [Apsley]

Unlike the ant, who scurries past [fester]

With things to do from first to last - [Apsley]

Such as milking their pet aphids [fester]

Into cups the size of geese, [Apsley]

Unless they're stopped by the police [fester]

Thus, in creation, all agree [Apsley]

That buzzy thing could be a bee [fester]

"Go be a bee!", my dear mum said. [dan]

Then she went promptly off her head. [Apsley]

Her doctors said: "Drink lots of tea-- [fester]

Hot, quite liquid, and sticky!" [Apsley]

they sedated her and strapped her into bed [melody]

With a lamb in her arms and goat at her head; [Apsley]

she rocked back and forth and spoke to herself [melody]

of faries and Santa and Microsoft wealth. [englishqueen]

And so, by the doctors, it came to be said [Apsley]

That here there was a savant true [Beefy]

To thump both black and blue. [Apsley]

The tiger, basking in the sun [Beefy]

Knows that he is No. 1 - [Apsley]

As Pat McGoohan says "I am [fester]

The one and only honeyed ham" [Apsley]

And, saying this, he draws his gun: [fester]

He stands and shoots, but naught befalls [Apsley]

Save echo's muttering retreat - sublimate walls: [L. Wallace]

The lizard bathing in the dew [fester]

Has had enough of me and you! [Apsley]

Contributors: fester, Apsley, Grayman, dkb, Beefy, melody, dan, englishqueen, L. Wallace.
Poem finished: 8th May 2002.