The Spoonbill Generator

My Mendacious Honey

I lie to you always, as sugar to spice [Apsley]

I hide from your paws like the chocolate mice [dkb]

That pep up the graveyard and tickle the Queen [Apsley]

And though your risotto was ever so nice [dkb]

I'm feeling as sick as I ever have been [Apsley]

I cannot pretend that I meant what I said [dkb]

I loved you to bits - till I got you in bed [Apsley]

'Twas there I discovered your dark secret vice - [dkb]

That you keep a live walrus attached to your head - [Apsley]

I couldn't believe it, I had to look twice. [dkb]

Dissembling to you's just a habit with me [Apsley]

I've done it so long that I can't drink my tea [dkb]

I rattle the teacups to hide my distress [Beefy]

And put Cornish pasties inside my dress [Apsley]

The walrus keeps spinning around in my mind [TG]

It proves I was wrong when I thought you were kind [dkb]

But why did you say I'd be better off dead? [Beefy]

It's just like that day when the bishop resigned - [dkb]

They took him to Oxford and filled him with lead [Apsley]

Those mice were the oddest sweets I've ever seen [dkb]

They beat the beetroot ice-cream with broad bean [Apsley]

But still, you're the sweetest girl I'd hope to find, [dkb]

Assuming that for sex you're just as keen, [Apsley]

And do not not simply want me for my mind [fester]

Contributors: Apsley, dkb, Beefy, TG, fester.
Poem finished: 5th September 2001.