The Spoonbill Generator

False Tales of My Calumny

Bring me an egg-whisk, and sand-blast my shoes! [Apsley]

Break out the flute and play me some blues. [Curt!]

Utter instructions in Finnish and Greek? [Apsley]

Better keep shtum till it's your turn to speak [TG]

Lethargy, somnolence, talking in whispers: [Apsley]

Passing the gossip at Matins and Vespers [Beefy]

Is nothing compared to sniffing some glue [Apsley]

Or drinking champagne from a lady's left shoe [Beefy]

Jovial banter swapped in the office [Apsley]

Fuelled by biscuits and over-strong coffees [Beefy]

Makes for a mixture like tinder and flame [Apsley]

But never obscures the main point of the game [Beefy]

For winning is losing, defeat the main aim: [Apsley]

So sod off! [Bernard]

Thus, vapidly, uttered the rank profane [Apsley]

Sing me an anthem, and turn down the fire [Beefy]

Play me a tune on your broken old lyre! [Apsley]

Fly to the moon on the wings of desire. [loaf]

Barking with Bartok, singing with Strauss [Apsley]

Leaving my wealth to an indigent louse [Roland]

Who sits on the stairs, and sets fire to my house... [Apsley]

When no one is with me, I'm never alone [Em]

I'm ever so mobile now I've lost my phone [TG]

Perhaps I'll go home and engage with my clone [Apsley]

Contributors: Apsley, Curt!, TG, Beefy, Bernard, loaf, Roland, Em.
Poem finished: 21st May 2001.