The Spoonbill Generator

Recant Nothing, Martyrs

Full fathom five the aardvark lies [Apsley]

Full fathom six the horse [Surlaw]

And, in this way, the mudlark flies [Apsley]

Between the furze and gorse [Surlaw]

For it is such a happy bird [Apsley]

On being disinterred [Surlaw]

Reborn, it flits from tree to hedge [Shipp]

And preens its freezing rump [Surlaw]

Upon the rectory window ledge [Shipp]

Athwart the village pump [Surlaw]

For there it finds the choicest perch [Apsley]

To view the ruined church [Surlaw]

It spies a tasty morsel [Apsley]

And crouches to attack [Surlaw]

With feathers arched all dorsal [Apsley]

And fronted like its back [Surlaw]

It dives as one quite headstrong [Apsley]

Who knew it all along [Surlaw]

From fifty thousand metres [Apsley]

It showers urine forth [Surlaw]

That, slowly falling, peters [Apsley]

In rainbows to the North [Surlaw]

Which shepherds then beholding [Apsley]

Deny, as it's unfolding [Surlaw]

That it's lesser than the pewter [Apsley]

That encased their erstwhile tutor [Surlaw]

Whilst buried deep in Norwich town [Apsley]

The mudlark trills its lay [Surlaw]

Returned once more from upside-down [Apsley]

It rectifies the fray [Surlaw]

And with its soung unfurling [Apsley]

Its spines continue curling [Surlaw]

It wrestles with its conscience hard [Apsley]

Contemptible and vile [Surlaw]

Until it spies a pound of lard [Apsley]

All glistening with guile [Surlaw]

Within a trice, it downs it quite [Apsley]

Between the dusk and night [Surlaw]

And thus the bird is full of fat [Apsley]

And full of fire the fen [Surlaw]

That Henry saw when on his hat [Apsley]

The urine fell again [Surlaw]

And stained it with a letter 'D' [Apsley]

Most inauspiciously [Surlaw]

Yet, of this tale, we've had enough: [Apsley]

Let's move on now to better stuff [Shipp]

Contributors: Apsley, Surlaw, Shipp.
Poem finished: 8th February 2001.