The Spoonbill Generator

Slander Me!

I'm the child of a Red Road skyscraper. [MRQ]

I'm the headache you'd rather forget. [Apsley]

I spit in your eye, I drip down your thigh [Sarka]

But deep down I'm rather a pet. [MRQ]

I never treat anythihng lightly [Beefy]

Not spelling -- or pancakes -- or rum [Apsley]

I blow in our ear, and when you're not near [Roland]

What was smart somehow seems dumb. [Cliff]

I am studious and tasteful and read much [MRQ]

But never retain what I read [TG]

My brain-slug, I fear, has run out of my ear [Looby]

An' left a big hole in ma heid! [MRQ]

I juggle and smuggle - and, dearie, [Yoxi]

Don't leave your old smokes in my jeep! [Apsley]

They remind me too much of my night with Old Dutch [TG]

That venomous portly old creep... [Apsley]

If you've got a mind to seduce me [Beefy]

To reduce me and turn me to you [Anon.]

Just anoint all my surface with beetroot [Apsley]

The juice that makes purple reign. [HOG]

Then turn me to face Nelson's column [TG]

With a parsnip and snark on my back [Apsley]

Beat me with fresh radishes [Anna]

And give my gluteus a smack [Beefy]

My passion is for things of fiction [Apsley]

An avoidance of fact it's true [Anna]

join the old el paso party [fred]

And be stuck up together with glue [Apsley]

Then let's dance the conga together [TG]

And cleave to each other once more [Aa]

The thrill of the dance means I might take a chance [Beefy]

And ride to the moon on a boar [Apsley]

So farewell to the Red Road skyscraper [TG]

In Legoland I'll live no more [MRQ]

And so while I grovel down here in my hovel [Roland]

Let's sail for Ur's comforting shore [Beefy]

Contributors: MRQ, Apsley, Sarka, Beefy, Roland, Cliff, TG, Looby, Yoxi, Anon., HOG, Anna, fred, Aa.
Poem finished: 11th September 2000.