The Spoonbill Generator

Universal Generalisations Are Tiresome

The chief delight of Roland Rat [fester]

Was eating little bits of cat [Roland]

He'd savour every single bite [fester]

That gratified his appetite [Roland]

Enraptured by the taste and smell [Anon.]

Of lightly varnished dardanelle [Apsley]

He'd eat until he felt unwell [fester]

Yet when the constellations changed [Roland]

He found that cat now tasted strange [fester]

His palate turned to haute-cuisine [Roland]

Like truffled sauces made with cream [fester]

With springs of parsley jammed on top [Roland]

And lines of goulash all a-slop [Apsley]

He never did know when to stop [TG]

His brother rodents, clamb'ring round [Roland]

All laughed out loud to see they'd found [Grayman]

The world's first truly spheroid rat [fester]

Who redefined the notion, 'fat' [Roland]

With his rotundity of form [fester]

He quite defied the rodent norm [Roland]

Yet still ate on without a qualm [fester]

Yet with the seasons rolling by [Roland]

He often asked the question, "Why [fester]

Am I the butt of such contempt?" [Roland]

Yes, Roland was a sad rodent [fester]

Until he hit upon this ploy: [Roland]

"I'll hire myself out as a toy" [Grayman]

And got his kicks from others' joy [fester]

Contributors: fester, Roland, Anon., Apsley, TG, Grayman.
Poem finished: 3rd May 2000.