The Spoonbill Generator

Picture This, My Chatelaine

Rembrandt, on his better days, [P]

While leaning from the sill [Roland]

Was startled by an upturned nose [TG]

Impaled upon his quill [Roland]

He turned to Mrs R and said: [TG]

'My Dear, the time has come [Roland]

To pack our bags and leave this burg [P]

And its unsightly scum.' [Roland]

They packed their bags without delay [TG]

And headed off to Morecombe Bay [P]

Rubens, in the same hotel [Roland]

Was pondering the view [TG]

Till, startled by an unmade bed [Roland]

He made his vows anew [TG]

He turned to Mrs R and said: [P]

'Take all my worldly goods [Roland]

And pack your bags to leave this town [P]

For foreign neighbourhoods.' [Roland]

She packed her bags with tins of spam [P]

And hailed an Austria-bound tram [TG]

Renoir, in the high Tyrol [P]

Was overcome by fumes [Roland]

He clasped his chest and gasped for air [TG]

And stumbled through his rooms [Roland]

He turned to Mrs R and said: [TG]

'Until I gasp my last [Roland]

We'll pack our bags with styrofoam [TG]

Mementoes of our past [P]

They packed their bags in nothing flat [TG]

And hoisted sail for Ararat [P]

Rodin, after exercise [Roland]

Was resting in the shade [P]

Till, half-remembering a dream [Roland]

He spilt his lemonade [TG]

He turned to Mrs T and said: [trad]

"What happened to my wife?" [TG]

She packed her bags at such a speed [Roland]

And left him for a life [P]

Of sin; she packed for Babylon [Roland]

But ended up in Ynys Môn [P]

Rousseau, thinking through the night [TG]

Found notions slow to dawn [Roland]

Till, suddenly, the thought took hold [P]

That no-one loves a yawn [TG]

He turned to Mrs Y and said: [Roland]

"You must remember this" [TG]

He packed his bags in silent mirth [Roland]

And sought out the abyss [TG]

He made a pact that few would claim [Roland]

Then moved to Mons and changed his name [TG]

Contributors: P, Roland, TG, trad.
Poem finished: 24th April 2000.