The Spoonbill Generator

To The Goatherds

When asked to choose an Antipope [Roland]

A goat would normally decline [fester]

Because their habits are nocturnal [Apsley]

And their cassocks are divine [Roland]

They like to rummage tenderly [Apsley]

And browse the vestry, fancy-free [Roland]

In search of humbugs, bright and blue, [Apsley]

Though they like to butt vicars too [fester]

And should they happen on a cabbage head [H]

They'll know the former Antipope is dead. [Roland]

But goats, when choosing Magistrates, [E Greejius]

Just tend to turn the other hoof: [Roland]

De minimis non curat lex [E Greejius]

'The law from trivia stays aloof' [Roland]

How droll! Your kidding makes me smile [fester]

Inducing heartache all the while [Apsley]

In every chamber, every vein [Roland]

I cannot bear the dreadful pain! [fester]

And should I happen on a thistle stalk [Roland]

I'll pluck it gloomily and walk [H]

And, when the Final Choice is on the cards [Roland]

A goat's advice is little use [fester]

To those that gather turbid shards, [Apsley]

And drown their fears in guava juice [TG]

A goat has little sympathy [fester]

For those who won't go quietly [Grayman]

But offers every kind of care [fester]

For those who seek the Papal chair [P]

And should I happen on a dried-up yam [Roland]

The Papal travesty will scream "I am, I AM!" [d rippner]

Contributors: Roland, fester, Apsley, H, E Greejius, TG, Grayman, P, d rippner.
Poem finished: 10th April 2000.