The Spoonbill Generator

Philosophers Lacking Reason

When Kierkegaard was down-at-heel [Roland]

And felt that things just were not real [P]

Then he, for once, knew how I feel: [Roland]

Hegel was too systematic [fester]

For his brain was adiabatic [P]

Just like mine, though less emphatic [Roland]

Nietzsche, in his hour of need, [P]

Took comic books and mustard-seed [The Agent Apsley]

(a plan to which I soon agreed) [Roland]

Bertrand Russell, sick at heart, [P]

When Wittgenstein tore him apart [fester]

Saw deepest red and tore apart [The Agent Apsley]

Old Socrates lived in a tub [fester]

Apart, apart from priest and pub [Roland]

He liked to eat a lot of grub [fester]

Empedocles was oft asleep [The Agent Apsley]

And gnawed by sundry servile sheep [P]

Knew Love was good and Strife was deep [fester]

Yet, when these seven met, in Hell [Roland]

They found that Kant was there as well [fester]

The source of that Infernal smell [Roland]

Contributors: Roland, P, fester, The Agent Apsley.
Poem finished: 17th March 2000.