The Spoonbill Generator

Worse Shame Than Coal-Shovelling Tendencies

Uncertain and yet, somehow, sure [Binky Huckaback]

I trip the light fantastic [Grayman]

I cartwheel gamely through the Ruhr [Roland]

And bounce back on elastic [KT]

Lest on the Steppes I stumble down [Roland]

And crack my pate completely [TG]

'Twould leave me with a steady frown [KT]

If sewn up less than neatly [Grayman]

The risks I take are always safe [KT]

And modelled on Houdini's [Roland]

(Although the handcuffs often chafe) [TG]

I never wear bikinis [KT]

Lest in the chase the clasps give way [Roland]

And cover me with blushes [KT]

As when a jet of Beaujolais [Roland]

From Jereboam gushes [TG]

I watch my step but chance my arm [KT]

Like some great tennis player [Elizabeth]

I would not want to come to harm [P]

So wear a padded layer [Grayman]

Lest in the ruck I wrench my neck [Roland]

And dislocate my shoulder [KT]

Or leave my rib-cage all a-wreck [Roland]

- I dare not be much bolder [KT]

I boldly stride with falt'ring step [P]

Through acres of obstruction [Roland]

The schoolboy at his inky prep [KT]

Underlining "suction" [Elizabeth]

The easy way is not for me [KT]

No challenge is too scary [TG]

My timid personality [KT]

Would scarce befit a fairy [Loaf]

I leap along with lofty air [Elizabeth]

My jÚtÚ makes men whistle [TG]

My faux pas are exceeding rare [KT]

Thanks to my well-honed gristle [TG]

Yet, when I pulverise one shin [Roland]

Or sprain my leftmost ankle [P]

Or strip away a swathe of skin [Roland]

I must say it does rankle [KT]

I dive from thirty thousand feet [TG]

A kamikaze swoop [Elizabeth]

And yet, the pleasure's incomplete [Roland]

I can not loop the loop [Grayman]

Nor imitate the stratopshere [The Agent Apsley]

Without a change of clothing [TG]

The earth is coming all too near [KT]

And I am filled with loathing. [Elizabeth]

Contributors: Binky Huckaback, Grayman, Roland, KT, TG, Elizabeth, P, Loaf, The Agent Apsley.
Poem finished: 24th December 1999.