The Spoonbill Generator

Claudius Jointless, Claudius Pointless

The other day I found a paper clip [P]

Hurrah! [TG]

and lanced a tiny pimple on my lip [Roland]

Take that! [TG]

And lurking in the out-tray to my right [Roland]

What's this? [TG]

The severed tail of Aunt Matilda's kite [Roland]

Oh Shit! [TG]

I'm sure she'll throttle me when she finds out [P]

But why? [Roland]

I'd better disappear from hereabout [TG]

Toot sweet [Roland]

Aunt Matilda never really cared [TG]

At all [P]

Until her first encounter with The Laird [Roland]

Of Glamis [TG]

And after that she never laughed again [P]

Unless [Roland]

It was to scorn the folly of the men [P]

She saw [Roland]

For, knowing she was wiser far than they [TG]

No doubt [P]

She turned upon her heel and strode away [TG]

At speed [P]

My aunt was always fun to have around [TG]

My neck [P]

She'd lead the hunt awry and go to ground [TG]

Despite [Roland]

Her hardly inconsiderable girth [TG]

That now [Roland]

Seems scarcely less than that of Mother Earth [TG]

Below [Roland]

She'd cackle at their futile sounding brass [TG]

Until [Roland]

The dire catastrophe that came to pass [TG]

Finished [Roland]

The day she bought the kite I well recall [TG]

Pardee [Roland]

She put it on the suitcase in the hall [TG]

To rest [Roland]

She bade me guard it, with my life, from harm [TG]

God wot [Roland]

To show her fierce intent, she pierced my arm [TG]

At last [Roland]

She meant to fly it free on Highgate hill [TG]

Next week [P]

But, sad to say, she wholly lacked the skill [Roland]

Poor mare [TG]

Contributors: P, TG, Roland.
Poem finished: 16th December 1999.