The Spoonbill Generator

Beneath the Dismembering Sky

When Ethelred beheld the axolotl [Anon.]

She went quite mad, and hit the bottle [Rob]

Ironically, she now drinks like a fish [Grayman]

And curses like an aunt of Aristotle [P]

Whose doctor once remarked, "I'll tell you what'll [Katie]

Make your accent much more glottal [P]

And send my invoice to the fish!" [The Agent Apsley]

Then Hubert, who adored his only daughter, [KT]

Explained the etiquette of passing water [TG]

Ironically, she now passes like Ayrton Senna [Grayman]

When heading for the pit of slaughter: [The Agent Apsley]

The milkmaid said that she'd once caught her [KT]

She'd make her drink three pints of porter [TG]

And dye her silken hair with henna [KT]

Then Cedric swore he'd flog the thieving lackey [TG]

And charge him for the brandy and the 'baccy [KT]

That had been taken from the Royal Mail [The Agent Apsley]

That, three star fish and a pail [Anon.]

Which all adds up to something tacky - [The Agent Apsley]

He cursed him like a mad Iraqi [TG]

(Saddam Hussein -- so grievously un-wacky ! ) [E Greejius]

So Tarquin called a truce and passed the whisky [TG]

A strategy he knew was somewhat risky [Roland]

Ironically, he didn't have the bottle [Grayman]

His mother drank too much and went all frisky [KT]

About the time that, at the throttle, [The Agent Apsley]

A pig was being pestered by a pisky [TG]

Little no one, hailing but from Shottle [The Agent Apsley]

Contributors: Katie, Rob, Grayman, P, The Agent Apsley, KT, TG, Anon., E Greejius, Roland.
Poem finished: 23rd October 1999.