The Spoonbill Generator

Hugo Onerous (Episode1)

Where, oh where is the Phantom Menace [El Tel]

Who writhes while falling into the abyss [Spawn of Rippy]

He surely can't be playing tennis [TG]

For I know where his racket is [Grayman]

We seek him here, we seek him there [El Tel]

He needs some shoes, I have a pair [Spawn of Rippy]

A tracksuit and some underwear [Grayman]

And a headband for his floppy hair [El Tel]

He was seen last in Nova Scotia [Spawn of Rippy]

Selling a Serbian holiday brochure [caro]

- I'm pretty sure it isn't kosher [P]

To kiss the dentist, and then the grocer. [Spawn of Rippy]

Someone witnessed his defection [loop]

And pointed out he needs correction [El Tel]

Angry at this imperfection [Grayman]

He stormed the Presidentialection [Spawn of Rippy]

He crossed the globe from pole to pole [TG]

With faster feet than Andy Cole [El Tel]

His candidature to enroll [Grayman]

On the side of a Dover sole [The Agent Apsley]

Such a form he he submit [Grayman]

To confirm his laughing spit [El Tel]

Which couldn't hide his lack of wit [TG]

Or need for mummy's sagging tit [Spawn of Rippy]

They do not seek him anywhere [TG]

And yet he knows he should beware [Teresa Incognita]

Lest worry should erode his hair [TG]

And thus erode his savoir faire [Teresa Incognita]

All things erode down to fine powder [Spawn of Rippy]

Including pre-packaged clam chowder [Teresa Incognita]

But as for the Menace, he just became louder! [Del Playa Debaucher]

One can here him as far as the limits of outer! [Spawn of Rippy]

Does he exist, the Phantom M? [TG]

He does exist, but only in shadows dim [Lady Lillian]

Distinguished by the sound of phlegm [TG]

Where drips of death evelope him. [Del Playa Debaucher]

Contributors: El Tel, Spawn of Rippy, TG, Grayman, caro, P, loop, The Agent Apsley, Teresa Incognita, Del Playa Debaucher, Lady Lillian.
Poem finished: 6th September 1999.