The Spoonbill Generator

The Labyrinthine City

Canterbury? No, it does not ring a bell [Roland]

Though, as I'm deaf, I'm not sure I could tell [P]

What towers were a-pealing [Roland]

From my home in far-off Ealing [P]

Nor yet descry what standards were aloft [TG]

Deal? - Only if you promise not to cheat [P]

Though in this game a morsel of deceit [Roland]

Makes each hand a touch revealing [The Agent Apsley]

The strength the while you are concealing [TG]

And makes the hard akin e'en to the soft. [The Agent Apsley]

Rye? No, I'd rather try a little gin [TG]

Dripped on my skull and trickling down my chin [Roland]

And thence into the new ceiling [The Agent Apsley]

Where a pool of blood, congealing [TG]

Swiftly, makes the place resemble a croft. [The Agent Apsley]

Grain? - I prefer the ruby grape [P]

Though, as the maidem murmured to the ape, [TG]

My choice is less than tasteful [Roland]

To drunken sleep more hasteful [TG]

Especially when a fez is deftly doffed! [The Agent Apsley]

Weft? Never weave when you should warp [TG]

And keep your filthy Grime out of our Thorpe [Roland]

You did not hear my question [TG]

Or aid my indigestion [The Agent Apsley]

And quite ignored me when I gently coughed [TG]

Plymouth? No, I'm just not one of the brethren [The Agent Apsley]

I'm rather a more unique specimen, [Stacy]

Of genus undiscovered [TG]

Who should, perhaps, be smothered [The Agent Apsley]

And gently baked, while cleansing ale is quaffed [TG]

Ipswich? No I don't recall its ambience [The Agent Apsley]

Though often recommended by Zambians [TG]

And patronized by rugged champions, [Stacy]

Bold climbers of the Grampians [P]

and fornicators, too! [Stacy]

Enough of all these questions, I've far better things to do! [TG]

Such as eating onion yoghurt or peeing on my shoes, [Stacy]

Or, otherwise speaking, writing a line on an igloo [The Agent Apsley]

While dancing on a corbel and singing Austin blues, [Stacy]

Not to mention utterly abandoning scansion, the rhyme-scheme and such fripperies [The Agent Apsley]

As all great art comes from taking liberties [P]

Or eating cupcakes as if they were going out of fashion whilst drinking some gin [The Agent Apsley]

And mourning poor balladry which is quite the sin! [Stacy]

Contributors: Roland, P, TG, The Agent Apsley, Stacy.
Poem finished: 26th November 1998.